Submitted for your approval: "The Mighty Orc"

I believe that a good nic name should have four qualifications. 1. Social Ramifications, it can't be insulting to the person. 2. Physical Correct, this can also be ironic. A 300 pound man can be called "tiny". 3. Chant, you have to chant the name. 4. recognize by his peers. You can't name yourself something and others outside of your circle can't go giving out nic names.

DERRICK TURNBOW (P) MILWAUKEE BREWERS

All season, fans and experts have tried to name Derrick Turnbow, the Milwaukee Brewers closing pitcher. Darron Sutton leans to compare him to Napoleon Dynamite, due to his love of the cult movie. Where as Bob Uecker refers to him as the "Bowhunter". These are very good and stir a sense of accomplishment.

I submit for your approval.

Derrick Turnbow "The Mighty Orc!!!!!"

I put this on record that "The Mighty Orc" is not only a proper name, but the best nic name for Turnbow. Not only does it roll off the tongue well (Just saying "Napoleon" sounds nasally) it conjures up imagery of a vicious creature that strikes fear in the enemy.

Social Ramification:

Many consider this nic name an insult. People see an Orc as a common creature whose manners and actions are subhuman. This is why I put the word "Mighty" before the word, "Orc". This making him not only an orc (an already feared creature) but he is mightier then the average Orc. Make him superior to the creature whose manners and actions that are subhuman.

Physical:

Physically, he is not exactly the same as an Orc. Exhibit A.

Note, the eyes, ears and upper front teeth.

Compare to exhibit B:

Now granted the eye to nose ring is more of a Red Sox thing, but still acceptable for this example.

Now just too make sure people are aware, Example A is Turnbows team photo, and Example B is an run-of-the-mill Orc.

Crowd Chant:

Final test of a good nic name. Silently chant the name either in a long cheer or in an repetitious beat. Example:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOverrrrrrrrBAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

(I came up with that one too, however people cut off the "verbay" part, I approve.

Now try the beat test with Ueckers name:

BOW HUNTER BOW HUNTER BOW HUNTER

I'm out of breath already.

Now we test mine:

mighty ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRC!!!!

though it has striking similarities to Lyles, it is still good.

Second test:

ORC ORC ORC ORC ORC ORC

Christ, I could do that all day, no sweat.

Peers:

Well, this last one is up to you. Tell me what you think. Or just start chanting it next time he saves another one for the crew.